Jeff Bridges and Family Values

Jeff Bridges: My family values
The Hollywood actor talks about his family

Elaine Lipworth
The Guardian
Saturday 19 June 2010

My father encouraged all his kids to go into showbiz. Not for vicarious reasons but because he enjoyed it so much. And like most kids, I didn't want to do what my dad told me. I didn't want to stand out, to be special. As a kid, you don't want people saying, "Oh, you think you're so great because your dad is Lloyd Bridges." You don't want to be a product of nepotism, which I surely am.

My mother and father were both very nurturing people and wonderful examples of how to live your life. I was incredibly lucky to be born in that particular bed. But the hardest thing as an actor is getting your foot in the door, and the reason I got my foot in the door was because of who my dad was – it's as simple as that.

My father taught me the basics of acting, but the main thing I learned from him was non-verbal. He approached the work with such joy and love of it. Whenever he'd come on the set, there was a vibe. The quality of everybody's work would go up a notch. I am glad I took my dad's advice and went into showbiz because I love it now and getting the Oscar this year for Crazy Heart was terrific; to be acknowledged by people who do what I do for a living.

Because of how my dad handled it, I didn't want to do the same with my own kids when they were young. My three daughters aren't at home any more – one daughter is studying to be a designer, another is studying child psychology and the third is involved in music – but we are very close and love being together. Then when they were 20 or 21 and they were wondering what to do, I said: "You could try acting. I'll certainly help you." And they all said: "Nah." I'm sorry in some ways that I didn't encourage them to act earlier. Every once in a while I will ask them to cue me on a script, and I can tell they've got it. Acting is like falling off a log for all of them.

I'm not real good at romance. My brother, Beau, for instance, loves to buy his wife clothes, but it's just not my style. I rub my wife's back at night. She deserves so much more. But I carry around her picture – that's kind of romantic, isn't it?

It was love at first sight for Susan and me. We have been together 36 years. I was making a movie in Montana, and one day I noticed a gorgeous girl who had two black eyes and a broken nose – she'd been in a car crash. Somehow the bruises juxtaposed with that beauty were amazing. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Finally, I get up my courage to ask her out and she says: "No – it's a small town, maybe I'll see you around." Two days later, we met in a bar and fell in love.

Now we cut to 15 years after that, I'm at my desk opening up mail and I get a letter and photo from the makeup guy on that film who had found the photo of me asking a local girl out. So I have a photo of the first words I ever said to my wife. It's unbelievable, and I always carry it around.

If you're married you'll have tough times. It's what you do when you reach those times that makes a strong marriage. You draw a line and then if your partner crosses that line do you say "Well, that's it!" or "Am I going to enlarge my concept of what love is?" If you open your heart, then the object of your love becomes so precious because you are so open. And that philosophy, that caring, spreads.

Crazy Heart is available on DVD on 14 June

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/jun/19/jeff-bridges-my-family-values