Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Whining While Dining Oot

am a propa Geordie, me
aa write propa poetry
aa used to be a Trot
but now am not
they said me pomes was rot
and that aa waz a bot
neebody reads iz
and it sorely greives iz
am a propa Geordie, aa iz

aa git funding off the coonsil
for blaain oot me toonsils
ama propa Geordie me
aa gan ti matches wen aa can
an wetch the team gan doon the pan
ama propa Geordie, man

aa write propa stuff
not like them posh puffs
that southern tart
that come up here to write aboot
her stinkin farts
ama propa Geordie, me
smell the authenticity

aa served some time in Durham
got a discharge with a PhD
(Pissheed Degree)
aboot a propa Geordie, me
not like that clump’n slug from Hull
who gets prized for being dull
aa get slavvad oot me skull
ama propa Geordie, me

if aa am a wee bit posh
add neva use a word like gosh
when I write me jangling tosh
cos ama propa Geordie, me
aa hoyed up with the common folk
but still they think aa am a joke
aa can neva gerra poke
ama propa Geordie, me.

Tom Pickard


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. This post wasn't even written by the author.

  3. 'No one in the North East has written and read and
    encouraged and organised so consistently and over so
    long a period as Keith Armstrong. His poetry is
    different, original, and politically exhilarating.’
    'It doesn't matter which way his poems are facing, or
    the subjects they address, it is recognisibly the same
    sensibility, each part of a unified whole, and unified
    by the same, strong identifiable voice.' (Andy Croft).

  4. If you want to advertise you have fork over the spon, 'bonny lad.'

  5. In the words of one of Dr. Amstrong's MANY admirers, I find this: 'Beautiful. Absolutely tremendous. I sit applauding and laughing.'

  6. from dave douglass
    'Keith Armstrong is a notable northern poet, with a finger on the rhythms and pulses of modern Tyneside and its dark, industrial cultural roots.'

  7. I think you've been Bobby Shaftoed.

  8. Tom Pickard's poem is a trip to the moon on gossamer wings.

  9. 'Like many poets, his verbal sensitivity is in inverse proportion to real human sympathy, a sublimated selfishness evident in his life as much as his work.' (Terry Eagleton on Lawrence Durrell).

  10. ‘There are those who tell the terrible truth in all
    its loveliness. Keith Armstrong is one of them, a fine
    poet who refuses to turn his back on the wretched of
    the Earth. He is one of the best and I hope his voice
    will be heard more and more widely.’ (Adrian Mitchell,

  11. I am the Geordie Chosen One
    and all the others piss upon
    but when one dares to piss on me
    I whine, I shriek and screech

    brother Tom