Wednesday 1 April 2009

Dear Prudence (as Gordon would say)

Some sound advice in these troubled times: -

DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.
DON'T waste money buying expensive binoculars; simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.
THE best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.
MAKE your own inexpensive mints by leaving blobs of toothpaste to dry on a windowsill. Use striped toothpaste to make humbugs.
FOR the lady in your life: an empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

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